Eurovision Metal Contest: 1st Heat

Well its that time of year again, when a loosely defined group of countries come together to display horrors of songwriting through the medium of sequin-clad, no-talent ass-clowns performing the impressive, if immoral, feat of screeching around a vague rythm whilst heartily sucking satans cock.

Having just sat through the first round to indulge myself fully in an evening of hatred, we here at Adrenochrome music bring you a real music contest, where the results aren’t based on cultural racism but by the quality of the Riffs!

‘At last!’ you cry!

So, below is the list, in roman order, of (possibly) the most popular song by (possibly) the most popular ‘metal’ artist from each country through the first semi final, rigourously selected through superficial and careless research performed via and pratting about on youtube.

Albania: MORFINA, ‘Krateri

Rare Albanian epic metal riffage

Cyprus: WINTER’S VERGE, ‘Paper is Blank

Epic power metal riffage

Denmark: CROCELL, ‘The Chosen

Face melting melodic death riffage

Greece: ROTTING CHRIST, ‘ΔΑΙΜΟΝΩΝ ΒΡΩΣΗΣ’ (‘Demonon Vrosis‘)

Excellently named black metal riffage

Hungary: SLYTRACT, ‘Recognize

Melodic technical death riffage

Iceland: DARKNOTE, ‘Bring Down the Skies

Hard hitting LOG style galloping riffage

Ireland: WEEPING ULCER, ‘Fear

Fetid, shit-all-over-jedward riffage

Moldova: NEUROMIST, ‘Cortex Tectonics

Progressive death metal with gret lashings of jazzy riffage

Romania: LOUDRAGE, ‘Fear Me

Groovy, unashamedly head banging riffage

Russia: SUNLESS RISE, ‘Nothing to Save

Extraterrestrial melodic power riffage

Note: Pick 3!


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