Transformers 3: The Dark Side Of The Moon (2011 Movie Review)

As a slight tangent from things metal and music today’s post concerns things metal and sentient, specifically the latest installment of the Transformers franchise, ‘The Dark Side of the Moon’. We hope you enjoy!

If at first you succeed…. do it over and over again until it gets boring



We return to the world of Michael Bay’s Transformers, following the salvation of the planet from the Fallen. Our heroes discover that the 1960’s space race was fueled by the crashing of a Cybertonian ship on the moon.  The content of this spaceship reignites the rivalry between the Autobots and Decepticons, leading to explosive consequences.  Sam Witwicky (Shia LeBeouf) who has been left behind by the Autobots is disillusioned with his graduate job search and seeking a higher purpose for his life.

We catch up with the world following the events of the previous film. The world knows! Well, quite a few people are familiar with the robots in disguise. So the Autobots are now effectively fancy guns for hire working for the US government.  It is odd seeing robots attempt to solve some Middle Eastern conflict…  Remember Transformers 2? Robots, explosions, slowmo crashes and Megan Fox making manly hobbies and boyish fantasy sexy. Exiting the cinema after Transformers 2, I felt I had somehow been tricked into enjoying it and promised myself I would not allow it to happen again.

That Mrs Fox was absent in Transformers was a sign that perhaps Michael Bay was going to build on the franchise, finally.

Alas, I was deceived again.

Transformers 3 somehow managed to take all the essentials of T2, and ramp them all to the max. There are even more robots, the trail of destruction is magnified and somehow they managed to replace Megan Fox with a hotter, though equally untalented, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.

This installment seems to introduce more characters but never carries them along in the plot. This is sad because the characters played by John Malkovich and Alan Tudyk brought something new to the franchise, but their parts were all too brief.

But by the end of the film as I left the Cinema, I realized that I had been tricked again. Bay is closer than ever to the perfect combination of factors for changing a full‐grown man into a teen, even against his will. With a heady combo of robots, eye candy and eye-popping action that will take you back to your youth, I applaud Mr Bay for at least sticking to his roots. (Note:  Watch Bad Boys)


If you’re a fan of boom-boom bang-bang action, then it’s unlikely that you would be disappointed in checking out the Dark Side of the Moon. The story snowballs into an explosive finish and I have no problems watching Huntington-Whiteley for over two hours. As usual the visual effects are fancy. The soundtrack is pretty good, and the Mastodon cover of ZZ Top’s classic ‘Just Got Paid’ is a real treat.

Yes Megan Fox was binned for a better model, all I can say is Huntington-Whiteley is great, but.. I sort of hated everything she said. Wait to you see her call a robot a “bitch”. Wow, acting lessons paid off.


Transformers 3 is predictable, all action and makes very little sense. But this is a man’s world and it unashamedly ticks all the boxes for a Hollywood blockbuster. You won’t get bored watching this but you’ll probably leave the cinema feeling duped.


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